I had a really cool day at church today. They were baptising people and reading the bible and other boring stuff so I played amogus and [r/atheism](https://www.reddit.com/r/atheism) instead. I kept playing until the priest stopped me and took my phone. I just got picked as imposter! While they were praying, I asked Jesus if he could play amogus with me. No one laughed, though, so I said “[r/woosh](https://www.reddit.com/r/woosh).”(funny reddit chungus keanu reference) No one laughed, which is kinda stupid. Doesn’t everyone use reddit? so I said “hehe jeSUS” while trying my best to make a flushed emoji face. Everyone was angry at me, for some strange reason. Then, the sus priest said “be quiet, this is the church meeting,” so I screamed “CHURCH MEETING? MORE LIKE EMERGENCY MEETING!” The scream was so hard that a piece of the ceiling fell to the floor. During the basket handouts, I said “thanks for the gold kind stranger” and put all of the free money there in my pockets. Before anyone could do anything, I used my 100 iq to hack into the speakers and play the among drip music. Still, no one understood, which is kinda cringe. The rest of the church wasn’t that interesting until the priest said “Genesis 23:6 Sir, listen to us. You are a mighty prince among us. Bury your dead in the choicest of our tombs. None of us will refuse you his tomb for burying your dead.” I couldn’t believe he was in on the joke, so I went up to the fallen ceiling tile and slammed on it, saying “EMERGENCY MEETING!” hoping he would laugh. All of a sudden, the pentagram on top of it started glowing just like the button and summoned amogus imposter! The priest was done with my funny jokes and tried to eject me from the church, but luckily, the amogus and I shoved his head into the baptism water just in time. My mom tried to report the dead body by calling the police, but I sabotaged her O2 with my bare hands. Amogus used the cross to kill the rest, but not before one called 911. When the police came, I said “it’s just a prank bro” and jumped out of the window. After that, I went home and spent all of the free money I was given on reddit gold.