It was a normal school day for Joshua Manslaughterspreader. He was in science class and as usual, Joshua was doing science. He was learning about molecules and thermal energy. Ms. Rubba asked Joshua, “How does temperature affect the movement of molecules?” Joshua then politely responded to Jane Rubba saying, “The higher the temperature, the faster the molecules will move.” “Correct,” Jane Rubba responded and then did notes.

Suddenly, Bobert Robert came over the speaker. “Attention red team, please come down to the auditorium for an exciting ROBERT’S REMINDERS!” Mr Robert said excitedly while every kid roared in happiness. Jane Rubba and Joshua Manslaughterspreader rolled their eyes both at the same time. Their scientific minds didn’t care for this measly, “Robert’s Reminders.” Joshua Manslaughterspreader walked down miserably. “I’d rather be taking AG than this trash.” Joshua let out a deep sigh and entered the depressing auditorium. Bobert Robert, and the entire SAP team were standing on a platform. “Today kids, I must discuss the horror that is PDA with y’all.” Joshua teleported in front of Bobert Robert and paid him $100 to fuck off. His scientific mind allowed him to do that using thermal energy, as well as plate tectonics. Joshua also paid and extra $5000 to the sap team for them to fuck off. “O-ok Mr Joshua ‘Agricultural Science’ Manslaughterspreader. Just don’t be buying any alcohol now and stuff.”

Joshua then went back to his insightful science class. ‘That bullshit is why i don’t like coming to school, Bobert. ‘Joshua “Agricultural Science” Manslaughterspreader thought in his head. He learned about Advanced AP IB Geology in his extra insightful science class. Joshua then left for his extra extra insightful, Academic Literacy class, and learned about social justice or some shit. Ms.Peachy then spoke to joshua, who raised his hand. His scientific mind was at its peak right now in the morning. He had his average 512 IQ currently. “What’s environmental racism?” Asked Ms. Peachey. Joshua then responded, “targeting a community because they’re Black, or Hispanic.” Joshua then learned extra insightful shit that class and went to lunch. Seth A. Branstetter was eating his pathetic twinkies. Joshua took them, and threw them away cause of all of the bad calories. The calories are horrible in Twinkies. The filling is modified and the war on our taste buds are horrible.  Joshua then skipped Social Studies cause he had a test he didn’t study for. Fuck you and Bobert bought a Subaru car with his money, and the sap team retired.

The end. Moral of the story? Nobody wants to hear about your naughty problems.