Dear fellow Redditors,

I’ve gathered you all here today to warn you about the dangers of actually lmaoing. Today I opened Reddit and upvoted, downvoted, commented, exhaled, and even loled at some posts. But this time…*oh fuck*…this time I did the big lmao. During this process I laughed and cried so much that my butt gave in and slipped right off.

Now. Here are the dangers and consequences of doing this.

1. First of all, say goodbye to any thiccness. All of that sweet delicious cake…will be gone. Your luscious lumps shall be no more.

2. Sitting. Sitting on chairs. Sitting on your homies lap. Sitting on toilets for 30 mins as you browse through reddit. It all hurts like a bitch.

3. Now none of your fellow friends and mates will never be able to smack dat ass to show their love and affection for you.

4. No matter how many squats you do, you will never again be ever to possess the gracious lumps you once had.

5. Once you lmao, you can never lmao again. Sure you could use the occasional omg or the ever famous lol, but once you laugh like you’re on crack, there ain’t no going back.

6. Now i’m ngl, the agonizing pain of having your buttocks fall off straight up hurts. I don’t exactly recommend it.

I hope you have learned from my experience and have taken note of all the precautions it comes with. Anways always remember to:

*cherish* dat ass

*protect* dat ass

*love* dat ass