I was so excited to finally main Waluigi in Super Smash Bros 5. Every time I played Mario Kart, I demolished my friends while playing solely as Waluigi. In each and every Mario sport game I won while playing Waluigi. If the game had Waluigi in it, I dominated the competition. Just the fact that my idol, Waluigi, was alongside me filled me with hope every single time. On June 12th, I turned on my computer, showing my Waluigi wallpaper, and went on YouTube to watch the Nintendo Direct. This was the only part of E3 that I had watched, because they’re Nintendo. Does Fallout 76 have Waluigi? Nope. When Masahiro Sakurai said that they had put together a video, I was filled with hope. I knew that this was it. The big moment. I hugged my Waluigi body pillow and Waluigi plush doll for good luck, and glanced quickly at each of my purple Waluigi posters on the wall. As the video revealed each character, I had a good feeling. While everyone was elated by the return of the Ice Climbers, I was desperately waiting for Waluigi to appear. Surely, since they showed the inklings in this video, they would show Waluigi. And right after Snake said “Everybody is here”, I knew that Waluigi would be in Super Smash Brothers Ultimate. Everybody would be in Smash Bros, including Waluigi. I waited desperately for Sakurai to show Waluigi, which felt like an eternity. Right after Mega Man was shown, the video showed the Super Smash Bros Ultimate logo, signifying that the video was over. By this moment, I was in tears. Waluigi was not shown as one of the fighters. How could Sakurai do this? But then I remembered: the video did not show Luigi or Yoshi as one of the fighters, which meant that they may not be in the game. But right after I realized that, Luigi and Yoshi were shown, and the video ended. How could they put Yoshi, the filthy, green dinosaur who doesn’t do his taxes in Smash Bros over the perfect man, Waluigi, with his long legs and sexy mustache? Tears were streaming down my face, with some tears dropping into my fruity pebbles that I was eating. “Everyone is here”. What a lie. If everyone were to be here, Waluigi would be here as well. But then I remembered, the only new fighter that they have revealed so far is the Inkling, who was shown as a new character in the video. This meant that Waluigi may still be shown in a reveal trailer. That filled me with hope, as Sakurai hadn’t shown any other new characters yet. As they showed off the new character features, I didn’t really pay attention. As long as Waluigi was shown, I would be fine. Then, Sakurai showed the Echo characters, and said that they were introducing a new echo character. My grip tightened on plush doll Waluigi and Body Pillow Waluigi. Waluigi would be the echo character of Wario. However, my theory was proven incorrect, since they showed Daisy to be the clone character of Peach. However, I remembered that they still hadn’t shown any other new characters, and I continued watching calmly. As they revealed the assist trophies, I hoped that one of my best friends, the DS Brain Training trainer, would still be in the game as an assist trophy. Then, I was deeply saddened and angered as Waluigi hopped out of the assist trophy. My bowl of fruity pebbles crashed onto the ground, spilling fruity pebbles, milk, and shards of bowl all over the ground, staining my Waluigi body pillow and forever ruining my data on Mario Golf, but those were far from my mind right now. Waluigi was killed and launched off the stage by the fighter, whom I forgot the name of. I punched my computer with the force of Waluigi hitting a tennis ball in Mario Tennis. First Masahiro Sakurai deconfirms Waluigi by making him an assist trophy, then he kills Waluigi on screen for the world to see. This was an attack from Sakurai, him saying that he believed that Waluigi was not worthy to be considered a playable character. How could they let Yoshi, who commits tax fraud, or Ryu, who’s not even a Nintendo character, be Smash when Waluigi isn’t? My computer fell to the ground, shattering. I sobbed in my room for maybe an hour or two. I will not go into details about what happened next, but I will tell you this: if you’ve read this far, then you should know that it is too late, and I have ended my life. I cannot live in a world where Waluigi is not in Super Smash Bros Ultimate. Farewell.