Why I love Pineapple Pizza

Pineapple Pizza is the best thing that ever happened to this world. The world might as well not have existed back in boring times when you had to eat dust for dinner. I can’t believe I wasted 10 years of my life without ever trying it. If I could go back in time, I would go to 5 year old me and tell him.

“LISTEN HERE YOU LITTLE SHIT, EAT THAT FUCKING PINEAPPLE PIZZA OR I EAT YOU.”

Then I will have filled in those void gaps.

Honestly why even bother eating any other toppings. In fact any other food is garbage.

I can’t even drink water.

I blend pineapple pizza and drink it with my pineapple pizza.

For dessert I make a pineapple pizza cake.

Gordon Ramsay can go fuck himself for saying pineapple pizza sucks. He doesn’t know art.

I pray to the person who crated pineapple pizza everyday while eating pineapple pizza.

Oh hey why am I in a hospital all of a sudden.

I hear some people that sound like Colin, JTD, and CLT.

Colin is saying if he can have my arm.

JTD is saying he’s gonna miss me. Whatever that means.

CLT keeps saying Do it.

But I don’t see them.

I only see gigantic pineapple pizzas surrounding me.

I feel very weak, so I lunge to the pineapple pizza in front of me and start devouring it.

I hear screams around me that sound like JTD and Colin and then hear an oof sound and look outside and see a pineapple pizza with glasses, who then runs the other direction.

I break the window and fall 20 feet and break every bone in my body but I don’t care. I must eat that pizza.

I quickly catch up and start ripping off the juicy cheese, the saucy sauce, and picking the pineapples off one by one. All I hear are screams but I don’t know why a pizza would scream. I then rip off the crust and start eating the cheese out of it while I hear terrified sounds coming from the pizza. It goes silent.

I then feel a bullet go through me and I collapse.

I see the most beautiful piece of pineapple pizza and it’s speaking in JTD’s voice. I then realize that these pizzas have kidnapped my friends and they are in them. People think I’m bleeding to death but then they realize I’m bleeding sauce because I have become a pineapple pizza.

I run towards the pineapple pizza and rip out every single piece only not to find JTD inside. I then look to the one speaking in Colin’s voice and go to him and kill him, only to not find Colin inside either.

All of a sudden, I look down at myself and can’t resist, I eat myself and slowly fade out of existence.

-The End