I, my friends, am a junior entrepreneur. I am going to try to keep this humble, but, really, how can I? I was the one to invest in cryptocurrencies when the time was right–I did not throw my money at Bitcoin like you all do now, with the currency holding such a volatile playing field. No, no, I saw my chance and took it. I’m sorry, but there’s no way for me to squander my natural entrepreneurial vision. What can I say? Bitcoin just caught my eye early on. I invested $200 straight out of my mother’s MasterCard, and look at me now–I’m a millionaire, with parents who now live in a mega-mansion. And to think that there are still some purely pathetic people trying to gamble on this rocky market… You missed your chance, losers. Just remember for me: while you all work as hard as you can, I will remain here, a self-proclaimed 14-year-old millionaire, proudly running my own meme page online. See you all around, losers.