Gather around, everyone, for an epic tale. A tale of love, and of hate. A story of cat-girls and Nazis. A story of how one man rose to the top, and how he lost it all. Gather around… For the tragedy of Vincent.

‘Twas Friday afternoon, and I was feeling bored. So I decided to boot up a game of [skribbl.io](https://skribbl.io/). For those who are unaware, [skribbl.io](https://skribbl.io) is essentially a crappier online version of Pictionary. I quite enjoyed the game, but I had not played it in ages. When I opened the website, it automatically assigned to me the name I used last time I played, all those months ago…

“Vincent”

I do not remember why I chose this name, as it is not my true name. But I decided to keep it because it looked cool.

So I hit play, and the game assigned me to a room. And this is where our story begins.

I introduced myself to the other players, and it is here that Vincent’s personality began to develop. Vincent was a true giga-chad. He was cool and epic, and everybody loved him. Vincent was the coolest boy in the whole Solar System, who has laid 1,000 men and women, the newest model of Awesome, and I made sure that every player in the room knew this.

Not everybody took kind to Vincent’s intense attitude, though. Nay, to some, his absolute perfection was too much to handle, and they reacted with anger. One such player was Shroom, who insulted Vincent and called him dumb and stupid and not cool. And from this moment on, I knew that Shroom would be my rival. I called them a lame-o. They responded by saying I was annoying. We bickered and fought for what felt like years. But I would never give up. Vincent *was* epic, and I wouldn’t let some nerd like Mushroom-dweeb over here say otherwise.

It was around this time when I met alex, another player in the room. alex wasn’t very good at the game, as they were not a native English speaker. However, they were an excellent artist. We had already taking a liking each other near the beginning; they appreciated Vincent’s incredible charisma. However, the moment our relationship truly began to blossom was during Round 2, where alex was prompted to draw a cat woman.

alex’s drawing was perfect. Using only a simple stick-figure drawing, alex had created a masterpiece. The shading, the form, the perspective, the texture… All principles of art, alex had mastered. Their cat-girl picture was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. It absolutely entranced me.

It was at that moment that Vincent realized that he was madly in love with alex.

I praised alex for their sexy catgirl painting, and we began to grow closer and closer. I was inspired by their incredible art-piece to choose “Hello Kitty” as my next prompt. Needless to say, Vincent knocked this drawing out of the park. He showcased his absolute creative genius by taking the base concept of Hello Kitty and expanding upon it, adding a gun and unicycle to her design, to make it cooler. It was met with resounding praise, and from that point on, alex and I were lovers.

With alex’s support by my side, I began kicking absolute ass at [skribbl.io](https://skribbl.io/). It wasn’t long before I got first place. I had won the love and support of all players, and me and alex were having hot gay sex every day. Meanwhile, Shroom, my ancient enemy, once in the top three, had fallen all the way to last place. I had won the battle. Humiliated and defeated, Shroom left the game.

But the worst threat was yet to arrive. And I had no way of preparing for what would happen next.

A new player by the name of “gasDAjews” had arrived. A 15-year-old edgelord who put swastikas into his drawings, sent to Earth with the sole purpose of triggering the libs. I tried to converse with them, saying that dark humor without a punchline isn’t funny, citing Norm Macdonald as an excellent example of “edgy” humor done well. They responded the usual way, writing things like “wdym im not joking” “ya im an actual nazi” “jews deserve to die”, etc.. Vincent had bantered with Shroom in the past, but this was unlike anything he had experienced before. They argued back and forth for an eternity. Vincent stated that he could tell gasDAjews wasn’t an actual Nazi and was just trying to get a reaction, gas replied with “lmao triggered, seethe and cope”. Eventually, Vincent realized that there was no use arguing with this brick wall, as that would be giving gas exactly what he wanted. From then on, both parties agreed to ignore each other for the most part. They interacted rarely from then on, with most communication being in the form of short insults from gas towards Vincent. In protest to gasDAjews drawing a swastika, Vincent put a hammer and sickle into their drawing, a representation of communism, the direct opposite of fascism.

It was here that Vincent’s fall from grace began. All of his arguing with gas had distracted him from playing the game, and he dropped down the leaderboard quickly. His first place spot was taken by another player known as “notapigeon”, and a friendly rivalry developed between the two. Vincent tried to reclaim his spot, but ultimately, he failed. His place lowered and lowered, until he was near the bottom. Vincent was heartbroken. He had dedicated his entire life to [skribbl.io](https://skribbl.io/). This was all he had. And now, it had been taken from him. He had been reduced to nothing in the span of mere minutes.

To rub salt in the wound, it was at this time that alex said they needed to leave, and that they could not stay together. Vincent shed a single tear as he bid farewell to his lover one last time. gasDAjews called both of them f*gs as alex left the server.

Vincent was broken. He had lost everything. gasDAjews had won. He now sat near the bottom of the leaderboard, abandoned by his one true love, utterly and completely alone. His heart aching, he poured all of his sorrows and misery into one final drawing, with the prompt “nutcracker”.

This last art-piece of his encapsulated all of the pain that Vincent had felt. It consisted of a phallus with an exaggerated scrotum, featuring noticeable crack-marks, with the testicles (“nuts”, if you will) laying in between the teeth of a large, faceless mouth. Vincent’s incredible suffering after alex left him was akin to his own balls having a bite taken out of them; he was left in pure agony, and unable to have anymore hot gay sex. This single drawing, the embodiment of all of Vincent’s emotional turmoil, became his magnum opus. It was his greatest work, nay, the greatest [skribbl.io](https://skribbl.io/) drawing of all time, perfectly representing his anguish. However, the other players were not ready for this incredible piece. Vincent was simply too ahead of his time. They responded with confusion and disgust, and Vincent was votekicked. And from then on, Vincent was no more. After enduring immeasurable emotional pain, his misery was finally put to an end, and at last, Vincent could rest. And with that, our story concludes.

Thank you for listening.