“Gar-field!” Jon called. “I made you some steaming hot lasagna! We need to eat before going over Demetri’s house for that org-”

Jon heard an abnormally heavy set of footsteps caress the hardwood floor. A thought came into his stupid, tiny mind. He knew Garfield was fat, but this sounded a little too heavy even for such a monumental creature like his beloved cat. “Garf-buddy? You alright?”

“Hello, Jon,” a deep and sultry voice sounded.

Jon couldn’t believe his eyes. In front of him stood a creature that was still recognizable as his companion of forty years, but at the same time was just… different. Jon didn’t know what this feeling was. It was still immense and orange, but… it had the body of a human, and the head was… still a cat? Anyway, it was taller than him, and looked like someone out of My Six Hundred Pound Life.

Man-Garfield strutted sensually over to his owner of forty-one years. “Reddit has lied to you. Lasagna isn’t the only thing I want, Jon.”

Jon’s eyes widened and his peepee twitched. “Do… does your litterbox need cleaning? Is that what you want? Is the subreddit enough for you…?”

“No. Jon.” Garfield purred, leaning in to invade Jon’s no-no zone. “I just realized that in forty-one years of being your special little baby I have never once… taken the appropriate steps to mark you as my owner.”

Jon took a step back. “But you’ve rubbed on me plenty of times.”

“ Jon.” There was force in the orange behemoth’s voice. “There are other steps a cat must take to truly form a proper bond with their owner.”

“… And what are those? Why are you a human?” Jon asked, mildly frightened.

“I cannot complete the necessary steps without turning into my human form,” Garfield insinuated, putting his large, pawlike hands on Jon’s shoulders and slamming him against the poetic princess pink kitchen wall.

Jon struggled. “Okay! Garfield, what are the steps? You’re scaring me! All I wanted was to share lasagna with you!” He could feel Garfield’s mammoth Cheeto-colored cock poking him in his tiny beta-cuck weewee through his azure trousers. “Garfield…? No! I was always the sex offender in this household!”

“That has changed, Jon. To effectively bond with a human, I must thoroughly shower them with my dongfluids, both kinds. If you resist, it will only hurt more.”

Oh, how the tables have turned, Jon thought.

Garfield tore off all of Jon’s clothes with one firm pull. He then proceeded to slap Jon across the face with his giant, 30-inch erect tubesteak. Jon fell on his ass like the loser he is. “G-Garfield!” he whined.

“You know why, Jon.” Garfield stood up to his full height once again and straddled Jon, dangling the tip of his colossal orange dong in Jon’s face next to his mouth. “Ever smelled cat jizz, Jon?”

“… No… I’ve never even sniffed my own,” Jon replied nervously.

Garfield laughed. “Well, that’s about to change.” Garfield leant over, letting his massive blood-orange wang brush sensually over Jon’s chin as he pulled a disturbingly moist Glock out of his dripping anus. “Seduce me, Jon,” Garfield demanded. “Or else,” pointing the gun directly at Jon’s now exposed testicles.

Jon nervously brushed his shaky left hand through his sepia hair, looking up desperately into Garfield’s soulless pupils. “D-daddy,” he stuttered. He slowly ran his hand down his chest until it reached his erect tool. He began to caress it gently, “Pwease give me your sweet, sweet alfredo sauce.”

“Oh, fuck yes,” Garfield moaned loudly, lowering the gun and slowly and painfully shoving it back up his ass. With his other hand, he began to twirl his cock like in that old classic Meatspin. “Jonathon, it is time.”

“T-time? Time for- Mmph!” Jon’s words were cut off by Garfield slinging a hot blast of burning-hot buttery-colored piss into his open mouth. It tasted salty, not what he was used to, but not unpleasant.

“I’m so sorry, Jon” Garfield groaned. “Fuck, this is good.”

Three minutes passed, and Garfield hadn’t stopped whizzing. As Garfield was still helicoptering his dick, urine was spraying all over the formerly pristine kitchen and pooling in every available surface.

“How long did you hold in preparation for this?” Jon gargled, spitting urine.

“A-ah… Three days, Jon,” the orange man-cat-monstrosity groaned.

That explains it, Jon thought. All the excessive squirming, constant demands for less water. So he wouldn’t pee himself.

The twirling slowed as Garfield looked into Jon’s eyes, unblinking as the flow of urine ceased. Urine was pooled in every reasonably flat surface, was flowing down every wall, and was soaking every inch of Jon’s skin as well as filling his orifices. He barely had time to blow the boiling hot slash out of his nose before Garfield presented him with his massive orange shaft.

“Put it in,” he urged. “As far as it will go.”

Well, at least I’ve done anal before. “But… what about the lube?”

“That’s why I took a leak all over you, Jon.”

Shit.