Grenade by Bruno Mars has been seen as a romantic ballad about how a man would give his life for his loved one, but does he really?

Let’s start with the main theme of the song “I’d catch a grenade for ya”. Your standard M67 fragmentation grenade has an “injury radius of 15 metres (49 ft), with a fatality radius of 5 metres (16 ft)” Source That means that if Bruno and his lover are standing next to each other and he catches the grenade, not only will he be blown to pieces, so will his lover. Good job, you caught a grenade, now what? Even if by some miracle she survives, she’ll be going to therapy for the rest of her life from seeing her boyfriend blown in half in front of her.

Next we have “Throw my hand on a blade for ya”. Now, I don’t know as to what context there would ever be a need to throw your hand on a blade, maybe Bruno’s girl stole an apple in Saudi Arabia. Best case she has her hand cut off, worst case she gets stoned to death or beheaded. Either way, putting his own hand on the blade for her will do nothing to help her.

After that comes “I’d jump in front of a train for ya. I don’t know about you, but I’ve seen trains hit structurally sound objects such as cars and absolutely destroy them. If for some reason Bruno’s girl is on a train track, stepping in front of a train to save her won’t do squat. Even if he’s stepping in front of the train to slow it down before it hits her, he doesn’t need to get hit by the train in order to slow it down, simply standing on the tracks and waving his hands then jumping out of the way would suffice.

Finally, we have “Take a bullet straight through my brain”. Again, in what circumstance would this ever be helpful or save someone’s life? If Bruno’s girl is about to get shot and he jumps in front of her, why try to get your head in the way? Not only is your head a vastly smaller target than your body, but you could survive a gunshot to the chest quite easily as long as it doesn’t hit your heart, and again, seeing your boyfriend’s head blown off is going to leave you with some pretty serious issues down the line.

While some think this song is about love and doing anything to protect the one you care about most, I think Bruno is just tired of his girlfriend asking him to save her in stupid ways and wants to get out of the relationship.

TL;DR Modern love songs are bullshit.