Participation is non-negotiable.

Resistance is futile.

May god have mercy on your soul.

And also your shoulders. They will be awkwardly half-rubbed while I feel out what I’m comfortable with. Not concerned for your comfort, however, as I will be too preoccupied with my own feelings and teetering sense of security. It’s non-existent, but telling myself it’s teetering makes me sound edgy, I think, and able to excuse my random interjections into conversations I don’t belong, and the occasional inappropriate tweet. I have 44 followers now. I’ve only had the account for a few years so I think that’s pretty good. I’ll get back up to 47 some day. Hey do you have your phone you should follow me on twitter. It’s okay I’ll log in and do it for you when we’re out.

Back to the rub. It’ll be weird. I’ll try to break the silence with some random bit of trivia I half remember from a true crime podcast that aired like 8 months ago, but I only started it yesterday cuz I’ve been busy. I’m only like halfway through that one or something I don’t really know, I wasn’t listening I just wanted to sound smart because podcasts are one of those things I’m pretty sure smart people still do, and then talk about the economy and Downton Abbey. I can never keep up with all these shows there’s all these new ones all the time. I keep trying to talk about the podcast though because it lacks any situational- or self-awareness while also making it painfully aware I’m desperate to relate to others with literally any possible thing I can come up with. It’s a popular podcast. Or like, it was I think a few years ago. But like they don’t take them down, the old ones are still there you can still listen to them.

Hang on I need to charge my speaker, do you know any good podcasts?