Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, I am here to tell you that my client, \[Defendant\], is innocent. She is innocent not because of any lack of evidence against her, but because of a fundamental and unassailable truth: she has the juiciest ass.

Now, I know that this may sound like a flimsy and frivolous argument, but bear with me for a moment. The juiciness of \[Defendant\]’s ass is not just a random and irrelevant fact. It is a crucial piece of evidence that points to her innocence.

You see, \[Defendant\] is a woman who takes pride in her appearance. She spends countless hours at the gym, working out and toning her body. She eats a healthy and balanced diet, and she takes care of her skin and hair. She does all of this because she cares about how she looks, and because she wants to present herself in the best possible light.

And what is the result of all of this hard work and dedication? A juicy and succulent ass, ladies and gentlemen. An ass that is round and firm, and that jiggles and bounces with the slightest movement. An ass that is the envy of women and the object of desire for men.

Now, ask yourselves this: is this the kind of woman who would commit the crimes that she is accused of? Is this the kind of woman who would risk ruining her perfect and juicy ass by engaging in illegal and nefarious activities? Of course not.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, the juiciness of \[Defendant\]’s ass is a testament to her innocence. It is a powerful and compelling piece of evidence that cannot be ignored. I urge you to consider it carefully, and to acquit my client of all charges. Thank you