I’m a white guy and a korean guy in the locker room put his finger in my butthole when I was a teenager in school. I was so shocked and I cried when I came home, so I decided it was cool and funny to joke about that incident as a coping mechanism.

for example, if someone tells me they’re korean, I’ll tell them “did you know the guy who raped me was korean too?” When I’m watching a news report about north korea with other people in the room, I announce “even the news makes it hard for me to forget about my korean rapist.”

Would I be the buttface if I occasionally joke about that incident without forgetting to mention that the rapist was korean?