No one fucks like Gaston
No one sucks like Gaston
No one makers other men look like cucks like Gaston
For there’s no men in town half as manly
Perfect, a pure paragon
You could ride any Tom, Dick or Stanley
But deep down all those girls know who’s cock they want on

No one’s thick as Gaston
No one’s slick as Gaston
No one’s prick’s quite as majestic as Gaston
As a specimin, yes, it’s intimidating
My, what a guy, that Gaston!

I needed encouragement
Thank you, LeFou

Well there’s no one as easy to fluffer as you!
Too much? (Yep)

No one thrusts like Gaston
No one’s trussed like Gaston
All the women in town, they all lust for Gaston

When I fuck, I sneak up, dick a-quiver
And the women of town say a prayer
First I carefully aim for vagina
Then I thrust from behind!

Is that fair?

I don’t care!

No one spanks like Gaston
No one cranks like Gaston
In a wanking match, nobody wanks like Gaston!
I’m especially good at ejaculating!
Ten points for Gaston!

When I was a lad, I did four hundred squats every morning to help me get large
And now that I’m grown, I do five hundred squats
And my dick is the size of a barge!

You’ll be kissed by Gaston
Who else fists like Gaston?
There is nobody who can resist you, Gaston!
I use condoms in all of my fornicating

Say it again
Who’s a man among men
Who’s the super success
Don’t you know? Can’t you guess?
Ask his fans and his five hangers-on
There’s just one guy in town
Who just wants to go down

And his name’s G-A-S…T…
I believe there’s another T…
It just occurred to me that I’m illiterate
And I’ve never actually had to spell it out loud before… – Gaston!