So according to the most galaxy brained of capitalism fanboys, anything the government touches isn’t capitalism. So since private property in the modern sense and the free reign of capital is only a few centuries old and never existed without government, I think we can agree capitalism has never existed in practice. Goes without saying, but tighten yer panties ’cause here comes the real shit.

You may be familiar with Jeffey Beezo, the richest man on earth. Some think he earned that dosh as a rugged entrepreneur, a strapping, daring capitalist. He’ll tell you so himself. But our boy has a secret. You see, his whole digital chinese fingerpainting marketplaace was built on the back of the communist US parcel service! That’s right, our hero, the other rocket jesus did the bad thing and touched the government!

Ok this isn’t funny anymore I’m gonna get pissed and play yakuza, thanks for coming to my ted talk.