It is a cold, snowy night.
You and your family are bundled up in front of the fire at your cousin DRAM’s home.
It is late, and dinner has begun.
DRAM whips up some beats while handing out the ham and stuffing, and your parents are eagerly taking pictures of your younger cousins in matching Christmas sweaters.
It is calm, and peaceful, and a perfect end to Christmas Day.
But suddenly, an imperceptible change in the world can be felt.
A… presence, is approaching rapidly.
Everyone else has felt it, and stares in frightened anticipation at the front door.
The door bursts off its hinges, as the bitter cold snakes its way into the home.
HE is there.
The figure of Lebron James stands in your doorway, sipping a red soda can.
In a voice that can be heard across the country, he says.
“Want a Sprite Cranberry?”, and tosses similar cans to everyone in the home.
You scream at them to stop but it is too late.
They all are drinking it.
DRAM, your parents, your cousins
And then you feel it.
A faintly… cranberry flavored ripple in the space time continuum.
But it is too late.
The very laws of the universe rapidly collapse, replaced with an artificial carbonated cranberry soft drink.
You feel your body collapsing and only have time to think your final thought before all comes to an end.
It’s the thirst, thirstiest time of the year