Imagine, if you are not already, that you are a young, outgoing woman working at a diner trying to make ends meet. You deal with the typical problems one faces in their twenties and prepare for the inevitable future back pain that comes with having G cup breasts. You go out with friends, you hook up with guys, and you buy shampoo that protects the sheen and vibrancy of your naturally pink hair. Then one day, out of the blue, you wake up and find that you have grown a giant penis. This is the story that Futa Fix ♥♥♥♥ Dine and Dash wants you to fully immerse yourself in but fails to deliver on the promise and exploration of such a premise.
Certainly, as with all games like Futa Fix, there is very much a target audience in mind here. This is not your typical Mario, or Halo game: it’s a visual novel. While some may not be interested in this genre, It is undeniable that the focus here is more on story telling and narrative which is why it is absolutely critical to nail this aspect. And this is the primary reason ♥♥♥♥ Dine and Dash didn’t work for me.
In the game you play as plucky young (18+) Emily who works at an unspecified diner (that may be called in game Futa Fix ♥♥♥♥ Dine and Dash, the game is unclear about this) and faces the exact situation described in the introduction. It is a unique story idea, one that is not often approached in mainstream media but provides a very visceral way of igniting the player’s imagination, without leaving much to it.
Right off the bat we see how this development is interfering with Emily’s life as the game opens with her proving she is not ‘master of her domain.’ Embarrassed and confused about her new male genitalia, Emily has become a recluse in fear of being shamed by her peers. This coupled with an increased libido causing her to be in constant need of self-stimulation gets in the way of simple things such as spending time with friends, or even getting to work on time.
Unfortunately, this is really depth of what the game’s developer, Cyberframe Studios, seems interested in exploring. The narrative of the game is split up into several routes with each one focused on a different woman that Emily encounters. The progression for almost every route is typically the same: you are offered a couple of choices the outcome of which results in Emily either having sex/more sexual dialogue with the woman. Then the other woman typically finds out about Emily’s penis, and has no issue with it. There’s usually one or two more opportunities to engage in sexual activity with the woman, and then you are presented with either the neutral or good ending to the route.
This doesn’t lead to any particularly meaningful insights into the story. The choices presented in each route are obviously either going to lead to a sexual encounter, or away from one. Even the routes themselves, as part of the greater narrative, feel a bit stiff. You really only interact with one woman in each route and some incidents seem to suggest Emily has engaging with the other women in the other routes, but other story elements directly contradict each other. Notably Emily’s personality changes drastically to fit the narrative of each route: in one she becomes a submissive sex slave, and in another she accidentally becomes a dominant engaging in a relation that began with would be considered sexual assault on her part.
And then there is the finale. This also seems to imply all of the routes are canon but contradicts the good endings to the various routes. Perhaps it was the creator’s intention to do something akin to SEGA’s Shadow the Hedgehog in which all routes are canon, despite contradictions, but ultimately don’t matter because the ending is more important. And a big part of this is the sudden introduction of otherworldly forces and an explanation regarding Emily growing a ♥♥♥♥ that comes completely out of left field. To its credit, a prior route does try to foreshadow that there were some other forces at play, but the extent that the ending dives into this plot point feels incredibly disjointed from the rest of the story.
And finally, there is the issue of Emily herself: as she isn’t a very compelling character in my opinion. During the two or three hours of story presented in Futa Fix ♥♥♥♥ Dine and Dash you get a lot of opportunity for insight into Emily’s personality and past. But this basically boils down to the idea that a once outgoing and confident woman has become overly timid and reserved. Even if there was more to this backstory, I’m not sure that I would want to know more—Emily is just kind of a huge ♥♥♥♥. She’s constantly talking ♥♥♥♥ about the women she interacts with. In the first route, even, she feels the need to ♥♥♥♥ shame Cindy. And Emily doesn’t seem to grow from any of this. She continues to trash talk her partners in each route and the game doesn’t make any effort to demonstrate why this is problematic.
Other than narrative issues, I‘m just bothered by the overall production an execution here. I’ve already mentioned my gripes with the inconsistencies with the routes, but there are other various details that break the immersion for me. If you look close at Emily’s penis, you’ll notice that she is circumcised. Perhaps this is a personal choice from the game’s developer, but it leaves one to wonder why a penis that magically grew would be circumcised in the first place. Speaking of things that are oddly cut I wanted to touch on the music too. The inspiration is clearly reminiscent of games such as Persona 5, but I noticed that most of the tracks tend to loop in an odd place. You can hear where it would have looped seamlessly, but instead the track goes on for another second or two and loops at an awkward place.
Not unlike another big release this year, Cyberpunk 2077; Futa Fix ♥♥♥♥ Dine and Dash is absolutely plagued with bugs. In some cases, these are visual inconsistencies such as the loading screen showing the transition from day to night, during a scene that started at night. The most drastic one of all that I experienced was the inability to unlock the final ‘Sweet Release‘ achievement. Despite having witnessed all the sex scenes this award failed to be given and I had to patiently wait for a solution to truly 100% the game. To their credit, though, the games developer has been releasing timely patches to deal with the bugs and the community has been really come together on this one.
Although I have had many complaints about the game, I would not necessarily discount the overall experience. It is very clear that there was a lot of thought put into this game, and that those involved from visuals, to the music, and story itself, were trying their best. However, I feel that the game could have benefitted from diving deeper into the initial questions the premise raised in addition to the sex scenes. Seeing Emily grow into a much more hardened and resilient version of herself could have been very rewarding after the traumatic life altering change to her body that she had to learn to cope with. As it stands the only real reason it feels like Emily has a penis is to justify her suddenly wanting to have sex with women. I think a tale such as this lends itself to a story about self acceptance and learning to love one’s body for what it is. Also, the prologue seems to imply you will be picking one of three women to spend time with, but because of the discrete routes this isn’t really an issue. Adding some weight to your choices would benefit in both being more engaging, and lengthening the relatively below average play time the game currently has.
Ultimately, I’m giving this game a 6.9 out of 10. While it is certainly a game that not everyone will enjoy, it was an honest attempt at something unique and I would love to see the developer do something more ballsy next time around.