Okay so me (M38) and my neighbour (F8) constantly argue. We have never seen eye and when we argue she often gets irrational and starts to cry mid-argument. It’s so frustrating when we are in the middle of a verbal altercation and she begins to cry solely because I say I’m going to kill her dad with a hammer (of course I’m joking any rational person understands that). Worst part is she always gets the most unreasonable when we are arguing about something I really care about.

For example the other day we were stood next to the bottomless pit having an argument about which was better, Bob the Builder or Postman Pat (obviously it’s Bob the Builder), and she started to cry because of a passing comment I made. All I said was that Postman Pat is a useless waste of space and that if him and Bob the Builder got into a fight, Bob would easily punch him so hard that his eyes would come out of their sockets. An obviously factual statement as Bob the Builder is a manual labourer whereas all Postman Pat does all day is drive around town in his stupid fucking van (total pedo btw).

However, she didn’t seem to want to see reason and just kept crying so I calmy walked over to her cat, which was always by the bottomless pit, and threw it down like a penny into a wishing well. Anyway she totally blew up. Total hysteria. Never seen anyone cry so much. And for what? A fucking cat? I told her to stop being such a baby and that you could easily buy, or steal, a cat. I personally have owned 324 cats over my lifetime, many of which I threw down the bottomless pit and I never once cried about it.

Anyway, her parents are really pissed too and have called the police. Writing this now as they are outside but I’m sure the boys in blue will be rational about this and side with me. AITA?