imagine being scared of water

you gonna piss and shit every time you take a shower? huh? or are you just not gonna shower like a stinky baby stink boy? yeah that’s right. you’re nothing but a stinky little stinkhead. you can’t even shower because there’s too much water there. i bet you sit under the covers and cry when it rains and then the water in your tears scares you even more so then you cry harder and then you get double scared and it keeps going until youre a shriveled little fetus and the stuart little bedsheets you hide under are the womb. i bet you weren’t even conceived because you would have had to have gestated inside embryonic fluid and thats just too much spooky water you absolute buffoon. i bet when you see something tasty like hamburger and your mouth starts salivating you scream like a little baby because theres water and you think there’s a shark inside. isnt that right? you think theres a shark inside your mouth because of the spit and that gets you scared? well guess what, sharks dont fit in your mouth you dumb idiot. try growing up and stop being such a baby and dont be scared of water you clown. go swim in the pool and then jump off a diving board into the pool. and then go to the ocean and swim in it and you wont even get eaten by a shark because that doesnt happen and youre a big baby who cant even swim. i bet you never even learned how to swim. i bet youre gonna go in there with floaties on like a little kid because you dont even know how to swim because you never learned how to swim because you were scared of sharks in the kiddie pool. i bet if you got in a bath it would overflow because you piss yourself so hard from all the water. i bet you want to move to the sahara desert because youre scared that the evil water is gonna get you. i bet you cant even get on a plane because itll pass through a cloud and clouds are made of water and you think the water is gonna drown you while youre in the plane. i bet you dont even drink anything because its too wet for you. i bet yore dehydrated and wrinkly like the dumb stupid raisin you are. i bet the water jets in a jacuzzi scare you because you think its a shark in the jacuzzi thats breathing really hard on you, even though sharks dont fit in a jacuzzi and you would know that if you werent such a baby stinky boy who’s scared of water. i bet you pray to the hoover dam at night because it blocks water from getting to you. i bet you think droughts are good even when a bunch of plants and things die because it means theres no water there. i bet the first time you ate a fruit gusher you cried because the juice inside scared you. i bet you dont dip your french fries in sauce because the sauce is too wet. i bet you think bottled water is good because it keeps it imprisoned. im so mad right now, you make me so mad. just go swim somewhere you stupid moron baby clown. just go swim and then youll probably have to wear floaties so you dont drown but then youll swim and youll see there arent even any sharks and its just water. and youre gonna feel so embarrassed that youve been scared of water like a little piss baby. youre gonna be so embarrassed and then youre gonna cry about it and this time you wont be scared of the tears because youre not scared of water anymore because there arent even any sharks and then youre gonna think about when you used to be scared of tears because they were wet and then youre gonna get even more embarrassed and then youre gonna cry harder because of how stupid and dumb you were for being scared of water. fuck you.