“He just started vibin’” NYPD stated, after a 14 year old named Zachary Formhals was arrested this evening after being caught making ‘G-Fuel’ in his ‘Drug Lab’’. 647 stolen tubs of ‘PewDiePie G-Fuel’ were found in Formhals’ basement. Police also say 2 students from the local middle school were kidnapped by Formhals. Witnesses say Formhals escaped the handcuffs by using his semen as lubrication. After escaping said handcuffs, he stole a police car after being left unattended by the police officer, who was too busy smoking meth with a homeless man down the street. Formhals had driven off in the police cruiser leading a 132 minute car chase until the police had to open fire on the windshield of the police car and fatally wounded Formhals in the chest, puncturing his left lung. Formhals is currently in the hospital in fatal condition. This is News 12, Long Island.