I had to poop really bad so I went to the bathroom. I sat on the toilet and unleashed a megashit that would go down in history. I walked out of the bathroom with a bow-wow that people would talk about for ages. People told tales of the megashit that I created. It became a legend. A year later I was in a box office selling buckets of popcorn. Suddenly I felt this familiar urge to go to the bathroom. I stepped off the movie screen and into the great beyond. The great beyond being the toilet that I once again unleashed a fury upon. I saw a white robed figure fall into a pit. The pit being the toilet. Why was this white robed man in my shit? That white robed man being a boy that I once knew named Robert. Robert was a good man. Probably the greatest of men. His white robe suited his heavenly presence. Unfortunately it was all brown now from my doo doo. I looked down at myself and saw that my robe was brown too. How did this robe appear on me? I was certainly hallucinating. This robe and this toilet occupied the same place in the world. A place beyond any understanding of time. A place at a right angle of time. The world had not yet seen this robe. And honestly, the world shouldn’t see it. The world would not be ready. The global chaos that would ensue as a result of seeing this heavenly cloth would destroy the world. I began to burn the robe. The flames grew more and more intense. Soon the entire men’s restroom was in flames. It spread throughout the entire movie theater. The neighboring buildings began to blaze. The man once known for his legendary gigashit would now be known as an arsonist. The fire department could do nothing. The police could do nothing. No one had any power over the continuous destruction that was happening. The burning of the robe seemed to have split reality in some way. The people of Hollywood went out into the streets and began to watch the flames consume the city. They went back inside their homes to tweet about it before they all were eventually burned alive. It was as if the flames were there to make sure that everything was consumed. The flames gave no quarter. It was as if there were no one left in the city to save any of it. Within a matter of hours, all that remained in the city was ash. The city was nothing more than a burning skeleton. As I stood on the mountain of ash I finally understood my curse. That no matter how good or how bad a person was, the flames would always come for them. But not me. I prayed for the flames to take me. And just as I thought they would, I found myself floating over the ruins of the city, looking down at the remains of my home. In the distance I saw a faint object begin to approach me. As it got closer I realized that it was the legendary gigashit that I created. Without a second thought, I set off towards it. The gigashit greeted me via telepathy. It thanked me for its birth and subsequent destruction of the city. It explained that my soul was chosen to bring forth the next extinction. “I would rather destroy myself than have the flames take me again.” The gigadump knew my mission was complete. My role has been served. My time was over. I then died. The end. All of this was relayed to me by the gigashit.