“I was going to kill myself today”

No, you weren’t.

Do you know why?

Because the universe is deterministic, thus your actions(or lack of) were already decided for you long ago just as this reply was. Had you killed yourself the fabric of universe itself would blinked out of existence momentarily to correct itself at which point we would have experienced deja vu. Huh, odd, I could of sworn I just typed this a few minutes ago…. ok, who fucked up universe again????