My fellow Americans, as you all may have experienced, the COVID-19 pandemic has overturned the American way of life. In order to halt the spread of the disease, businesses and other institutions were closed down. As a result, many hardworking Americans were left without jobs and, consequently, a stable source of income. Although most pandemic-related restrictions were lifted, the employment rate within our country has still not fully recovered. To address this issue, I announce the enactment of the Touch Grass plan. This plan includes:
1. Getting those lazy ass vegetables to go get jobs.
2. Educating people that cat-girls and anime “waifus” are not real.
3. Informing Twitter and Discord users that the use of “mommy,” “daddy,” and “kitten” in everyday conversation is, in fact, a form of degeneracy