Ya see Donny Pizzaface got his name from da night he was born. As da legend goes, his muthuh, gawd rest her sowl, was in labuh foh about sixteen howas. Strong woman, mrs. Pizzerino, dey don’t make women like her anymoah. Anyway, the docs had tuh eat, right? So they orduhed some pizzas, bein a doc is a tiyuhsome jahb. Da doc, he den realizes it’s time fuh da baby to come, so he’s yellin “push push!” And mrs. Pizzerino she’s screamin and all dat. Heah little Donny, he comes out lookin like a sauced meatball all slippery and whatnot. Da doc takes him ovah to da bassinet aftah he’s outta theah. Now, Donnys all lubed up like an engine in a camaro, and slips right outta da docs fingahs! Da doc tries tah grab him but Donny shoots outta his hands like a bahttle rahcket and lands face down in dah Pizza! Dat Pizza saved his life because da rest of da room was covahd in spikes! If he landed anywhea else he’da been a gonah. E’s a lucky boy dat Donny Pizzaface. Got out of a few bloody brawls with nothing moah den a few nicks. Walked away from some nasty cah crashes without a care in da wuhld. So dat concludes dah story of how Ol Donny Pizzaface got his name and became dah man we all luhve and raspect to dis day.