While playing spider-man, miles morales today, I witnessed the pure unadulterated, unfiltered, exaggerated swagger of a young black teen. Miles was so swagger, I started to convulse in my DX racer gaming chair, and accidentally tweeted a 9-page Twitter post on how Miles Morales was contributing to BLM by beating up the corrupt organization Roxxon run by a straight white male who looks like a Nazi.

Upon realizing this, the company who made the game decided that the game wasn’t meant to be political. I instantly started to flip shit. Muscles spasming and blue hair flapping in the wind, I ran to the nearest insomniac headquarters to complain to them about why the game should have politics in it so that people could be as miserable as me.