Imagine a scenario where your entire family is a fucking brigade of inbreeding Alabama rats, and they all share a personality as bad as a mix of Jennifer Lopez and EDP445. Yeah that’s right, I am living in this “goddamn” fantasy Disney keeps on talking about. These shit-headed mongoloids order me around like I was Salt Bae if he was a minimum wage worker. Hell, I’d even consider that shit lucky. So there was this particular day when the kids were biting and hitting me with pillows as if they have rabies, and fucking hell, one pillow, slammed straight into my entire future generation. Damn that hurts like shit, or so my pea sized brain thought. I immediately came to that so hard, it went straight into our pet goldfish’s bowl. Maybe this is what I want, something devious. I want to please myself. No, I need to fucking please myself. But then again, my diabetes riddled family will be a nuisance to my “cum sessions”. So now I have to hide my semen, and I don’t wanna do it in a sock, that shit stinks like Amber Turd’s bed. So I grabbed a pillow out of reflex from last time, started jacking off, and I came. Afterwards I let the pillow dry, then I switched it with one of my siblings’ pillows. I don’t know why I did that, but that was me, and my intrusive thoughts. It was dinnertime, I went to sleep, then I heard a banshee’s scream. Well I’ll be damned, that shit worked like pistachio ice cream and banana ketchup. I did not have a laugh as good as that, considering my family tore out my voice box when I was fresh out of the womb. I said it’s cummin’ time, and I came everywhere, and made sure to use every pillow, aside from mine, for “cleaning” purposes. So now every time my family tries to sleep, my fresh milky scent will haunt my family forevermore. I know what you’s thinking, “damn that’s genius”. Well nope, because I wanted more! So I hired this succubus-octopus slut, from what I heard, came from a skelly man’s lust. We fucked all night, every night, making sure my family hears this shit. If one of them comes to me so that they can complain, I send them to the shadow realm. Even the police don’t know what they can do. Oh, and if they try to sleep, I make sure to do my rightful duty as eldest brother and feed them “milk” whilst they were napping. Eventually I contacted my friend Miguel to send that house to fucking nowhere, and maybe my succubus bitch and I lived happily ever after. But I’m not sure, I’m just a dude living in Florida.