I would like to argue that these bloodthirsty entities are not dogs, in fact, they are probably spawns of Satan which are sent to Earth to terrorise the human race, because even the Dark Overlord of Hell fears these yappy, ankle-biting, demonic creatures. They may be small in size, but the raging wrath they possess is very large. These “dogs” are harbingers of pain and destruction. When in absolute fury, they first contort their already hideous faces, eyes bulging and fangs bearing – then they snarl. Oh god, have you ever heard a Chihuahua snarl before? It sounds like a lawnmower from Hell; it sounds like Satan trying to start his car which is made from the agonised souls of the dishonoured. Its growl is petrifying, if I ever were to see a chihuahua roaming the streets in my neighbourhood, I might be moving out of there. They are possibly the most aggressive dog breed, I’ve seen sweeter pitbulls and greyhounds, but every chihuahua I’ve ever met was a vicious, homicidal demons.

Many people think these killing machines are adorable because of their small body, so tiny it could fit in a teacup, but I beg to differ, as as a survivor of many encounters with those hostile, deceivingly cute creatures, my unpopular opinion is that chihuahuas are the worst dog breeds of all dog breeds. Thank you for coming to my chihuahua hate speech.