Hey Reddit, TIFU. Really bad. If I just say my situation, you probably won’t understand it, so I’ll give some backstory.

I am a man, 20 years old. I am straight. I still live with my parents. For like half of my life I’ve used the internet, scouring the web for fantastic memes. I like old memes like Advice Dog, where the font is Impact and there’s a stupid picture with a pun or joke as the caption (it doesn’t really matter about the topic, if it’s that format I’ll laugh.)

Most other memes I don’t find funny due to the ‘random = funny’ of it, however, there is one meme I hold way above the rest. Rickroll, for me, is the most best meme in the world. Now, to be fair, yes, it is very overused. But Rick Astley? He’s one hunk of a man. Whenever I hear the song “Never Gonna Give You Up” by Rick Astley, my legs turn to jelly and my penis quivers at the thought of hearing his voice; his soft, dainty lips not only speaking those lyrics, but giving them life, before they roll off his silver tongue, those fabulously flamboyant dance moves making my eyes dance up and down his banging body. Keep in mind, I’m not gay, I just like feminine men because they remind me of women. The way he grabs the microphone after slipping onto the stage is mesmerizing, like he’s gripping my diamond hard cock so tightly it’s turning purple. When I jerk off, I imagine him singing “Never Gonna Suck You Off” (a parody I made up) right in front of my dick, as if teasing me, telling me I will never have him, yet, it’s usually enough to make me cum hands-free. Some days I like to listen to Rick Astley butt naked in the kitchen. I like to pretend that I, myself am Rick Astley, dancing naked in front of a crowd. I always get so embarrassed, much to my excitement. It usually goes off without a hitch, because I do it before my parents get home, but today…

Today was different.

It was around 12 pm and I just got home from my university classes. I was feeling extremely horny because I got rickrolled by one of my university friends. I won’t name any names, but as per usual, as soon as I ran downstairs to the basement (my room) I stripped off my clothes and unlocked my phone. I opened YouTube and scrolled through my video history, all of which are parodies and covers of “Never Gonna Give You Up” by Rick Astley. I tapped on the original: “Rick Astley – Never Gonna Give You Up (Video)” by Official Rick Astley, (will provide link if anyone requests it) and pressed play. His beautifully angelic voice had graced my ears once again. Every syllable bold and beautiful, spoken in his manly-but-feminine exotic hybrid of a voice. My once flaccid penis started to rise, so I got out of my chair and ran upstairs to the Kitchen. I check the time on the oven. 2:45. I’ll had to make this quick, as my parents usually get home around 3. I restart the music video. Then I begin belting out the lyrics at the top of my lungs:

“We’re no strangers to love You know the rules and so do I A full commitment’s what I’m thinking of You wouldn’t get this from any other guy”

I was rock hard at this point, so I started jerking off.

“I just wanna tell you how I’m feeling Gotta make you understand”

Then I hear my parents’ car pull up.

But I’m too committed, I’m too hard to stop.

“Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you…”

And right as my parents walk in the door, I bust, and I have the most mind-blowing orgasm ever. Mother’s eyes wide open, jaws dropped, staring at my erect cock. I am covered in my own cum. I’m like a cum angel, if you will, and my god, the only true god, is Rick Astley. My arms are spread wide, waiting for Astley-chan’s warm embrace. But all I hear is my mom screaming for my dad to come in, so I get scared and hide downstairs.

And that’s where I have been up to now. It’s currently 7 pm, and I’ve heard my mom talking about calling the police because I was “on drugs”, even though I wasn’t and my dad saying they were going to send me to rehab. They have not contacted me in any way. I think they are going to disown me.

So here’s my question, Reddit. How in the ever-loving fuck do I fix this predicament? Will it go away? Or do I have to explain to my parents about my Rick Astley addiction?

Tl:dr I tucked Rick astley and I regret it. Don’t ever do what I did. Even though it vas very arousing.