Alright, listen up you little muggle. I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on the Death Eaters, and I have over 300 confirmed kills.

I am trained in the Dark Arts and I’m the top wizard in the entire Ministry of Magic. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words.

You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the internet? Think again, muggle. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of wizards across the UK and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, you filthy squib.

The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my wand.

Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but have access to the entire arsenal of the Ministry of Magic and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit.

If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever’ comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot.

I will cast fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re

fucking dead, kiddo.





Context: [some cringe edge lord’s response to essentially ur mom.](https://www.reddit.com/r/MinecraftMemes/comments/11nwx4x/so_they_made_a_collaboration_with_crocs/jbqg82c?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3) Thought it might be good copypasta material.