I told some people I was the son of Michael Jordan. and now they’re coming over to my house on Friday and I have to get adopted by him by then or else I’m going to be embarrassed. I need to be adopted by Michael Jordan.

When I told these people I was the son of Michael Jordan they said that was confusing because I’m slightly older than Michael Jordan, and I explained that you’re allowed to adopt people who are older than you in Illinois, and somehow they believed that and I’m good for now, but they’re coming over on Friday and if Michael Jordan’s not there, they’re going to know I lied. I need to be adopted by Michael Jordan.

If I’m adopted by Michael Jordan, then I will wash Michael Jordan’s car and I will collect an allowance from Michael Jordan and I will ask Michael Jordan about what sex is and hopefully Michael Jordan will tell me because I should know about that by now. I need to be adopted by Michael Jordan.

Thank you.