You log in to tf2. You decide to queue up for a nice, laidback game of 2fort. The “Match Found” button drops down, you click it. Everything seems fine as the welcome screen, well, welcomes you. You spawn as Demoman, your favorite class for destroying the inevitable 2 or 3 sentries that will greet you in the enemy base.
You walk out of spawn. 11 Engineers are staring at you. Unmoving. They stand next to their buildings as they slowly swing their wrenches in their idle animations. The only thing you hear as you tour your own base is the whirring and beeping of sentries, and the incessant drone of dispensers and teleporters.
Unnerved, you eventually walk onto the battlements, the muted eyes of your teammates following you out. You’re fairly confident in your skills, and you feel like you can handle the other team, so you walk across the 2fort bridge into the enemy base. The beeping of your team’s sentries fades into the background behind you.
Silence. As you walk through the hallways of the enemy base a chill runs down your spine. Closer and closer you tenuously walk towards the enemy intel room. It occurs to you that not a single player has intercepted you yet. You begin to fear the worst.
The intel room is up ahead. You climb up the stairs in the courtyard and go down the straight entrance to the intel. Up until now it has been completely quiet, but now you swear you can hear a mechanical beeping, lurking at the back of your head. “Beep… beep… beep… beep…”
You arrive at the intel. A single mini-sentry is guarding the intelligence, nothing else in your way. It sweeps back and forth, letting out small, weak beeps. “Beep, beep, beep, beep…”
A single pill shot, and it’s done for. You grab the intel and start to head back, but you can still hear the beeping, looping over and over again. “Beep… beep… beep… beep…”
As you walk through the spiral exit of the enemy base, you find an unexpected sight. An enemy Engineer, probably come to intercept you on your quest to capture the intelligence. Finally, something you can shoot! You fire your grenade launcher straight at the Engineer, but it passes right through his model. “Beep… beep… beep… beep…”
You’re bewildered, but you can’t stickle over regular visual bugs. You walk through the model and continue onwards. At the end of the spiral you encounter a dispenser. This one is solid and blocks your progress, so you climb over it. The beeping is becoming louder as you make your way out. “Beep… beep… beep… beep…”
You finally make it to the battlements… You’re greeted by a horrifying sight. Sentries are everywhere, on the bridge, on the battlements, even in the water, each with their own accompanying Engineer. They all stare at you, not shooting, not moving. You look at your own team’s battlements for help, but your Engineer teammates are just standing there, holding their wrenches, staring. “Beep… beep… beep… beep…”
You back away, maybe to find another route, but there are dispensers all around you, appearing out of nowhere. The beeping is deafening now. You try to shoot your stickies, some desperate attempt to free yourself, but your launcher fires nothing, performing its animation soundlessly. “BEEP… BEEP… BEEP… BEEP…”
You’re panicking now, sweat runs down your forehead, nothing is right. There are more Engineers than the server can hold. You can’t move, the Engineers are still staring, and the beeping has still not stopped. You need to stop the beeping. You need to get out, you need to leave, you need to be anywhere but this accursed place… But all you can do is listen to the beeping. The beeping. The beeping.
“Beep… beep… beep… beep.”