He was one of the galaxy’s most exotic and notorious pirates, a fine piece of booty from a more civilized age. He had the tightest body and the perkiest little cock in the galaxy; and was an outlaw in most systems.

Anakin and I used to travel to Florrum to doubleteam him at the end of every successful campaign during the Clone Wars, and once in a while he’d even have his entire crew run a train over us, part of official Jedi “business” of course. He knew how to handle a meatsaber better than anyone in the Outer Rim. He wore a trechcoat every day and he told us there were no trousers in space, and since he was constantly running and waving his arms you’d get a glimpse of his ridged brown cock mid party as he’d cheer for the circus while downing shots with his boyfriends. It was surreal.

He taught us to grip our weapons backwards like dildos and he was constantly capturing Ahsoka and other pieces of ass almost every other day. It was ridiculous, like a constant porno Luke, you have no idea. And he was a good friend.