The key is to pump the beer up your ass when you drive. Don’t stop pumping, either get a motorized pump and a large battery pack or any friends you have willing to operate a footpump. Don’t let them stop pumping.

You’ll get very drunk quite soon, probably crash, killing a new mother, father and baby on their way back from the hospital. When the police officer accuses you of drinking and driving turn up the pump/give your pump bitch some coke and go into overdrive. You’ll now be sweating, crying, pissing and vomiting beer. Quite the opposite of drinking which the police officer will realise, letting you go on your way with no trouble.