Waring. This is an nsfw thing. It talks about very kinky sex. Please be over the age of eighteen if you are here.

Greetings everyone. I’m an agender nineteen year old. I had my genitals removed recently, which for the most part was an amazing decdiision that really improved my life, I love my new anatomy and wluld never want to go back to havning a vagina. However, it’s been very hard to orgasm and such without having any parts down there, even though it is euphoric just being touched down there.

I’ve been having sex with my gf just by servicing her needs for the past few months now. Though I’ve fantasized about her doing more extreme things to me since I’ve met her. She grew up with a catholic family in a conservative part of Brooklyn (I grew up with a much more progressive family in Manhattan (which is also where we live now)) and she’s cisgender and heterosexual, so I’ve always been kind of worried about how she deals with queerness. She’s positive twords me, but she’s not used to what I’m used to, and I’m always worried I’ll scare her.

However. Last night I finally was open to her about my kinks, and we decided to try something out. It was a pretty scary experience at first for both of us, but it ended up pretty well.

She didn’t end up hurting me (which is what I ultimately want her to do to me), but we did do soem stuff I’ve wanted to do for awhile. We decided to start out with roleplay (we play dnd together, so it’s something we both have some frame of reference for).

I don’t want to get into too many details, but I pretended to be her android, and let her control/dominate me all night. She was a bit upset when I pretended to be afraid/upset, but I assured her that it wasn’t real.

It just felt so great to be complealty devoted to her, and completely controlled by her. Just feeling that intense rush of emotion as she grabbed me and forced me to pleasure her djifidifufidididjddjeyueueieiehdhdjwoeorhhdiowpwkrjd….

She’s just so powerful yet so elegant. Like a little rapier. It was just like all of my fantasies finally came true. It’s so amazing feeling so afraid and helpless yet so loved and taken care of. It’s like this mix of fear and love all at once, feeling like I’m just this cute little robot to be used for someone else’s pleasure. And beyond all else I just felt loved.

I don’t think I ever felt physical pleasure last night, I still haven’t orgasmed since my surgery, but I’m honestly OK with it. It was such an amazing experience it’s really not about physical pleasure anymore.

What do you guys think about this? Do you have any advice?