This happened a few hours ago. While I was walking to my coworker’s room I heard some heavy breathing and some heavy steps behind me. At first, I don’t mind this person, but suddenly, this guy goes: “Hit it, slowpoke!” I turned around and saw some fat, short dude with a Dali Salvador – styled beard under his garlic shaped nose, wearing some kind of plumber outfit and a yellow cap. No way I’m going to argue with this unhygienic creep, so I just walked on. But then this fatass decided to quickly walk in front of me and then just randomly stop, causing me to bump into his back. I swear to god, at the same moment this degenerate neckbeard lets a loud and foul one from the depths of his well-used abdomen escape his massive buttocks, which was followed by his maniacal laughter… Disgusted and confused, I left the scene ASAP Rocky. As a last act of douchieness this overfed hobo fucking tried to kick me but failed, since his little, chubby manlet legs couldn’t reach me. Since this little fatpack couldn’t control his own momentum, he fell to the ground, causing the building to experience a short magnituded 8 earthquake,whick was followed by him screaming in pain: “D’oh I missed!”. I obviously didn’t help him and just kept on running to the room of my coworker. After telling him what happened, we both went back to check the situation, only to find a crater caused by his fall and a puddle of sweat or piss or whatever in it.
I still don’t have a fucking clue why this happened.