*Sliced bread.*

Oh my god, sliced bread is one of the highest forms of capitalist control. Everyone’s all like “X is the best thing since sliced bread!”. Y’KNOW WHAT THAT IS? BRAINWASHING. STRAIGHT UP BRAINWASHING. What you gotta do, at least once in your life, you gotta buy a full loaf of bread. You gotta buy that shit, cut yourself a thick hunk of yeast, pop that bad boy in the toaster, and butter it up real good. It’s liberating. I swear, you’ll never go back to that thinly sliced tower of GREED and LIES. Bonus points if it’s Irish Batch. Breakfast of a true rebel. Fuck sliced bread.