earlier today i got out of the shower and saw my wife sitting on the bed, headset on, looking at her laptop. i dropped my towel and grabbed my crack pipe, took a big hit, then (still exhaling) i slid into bed next to her and said “you want some?”

well, she was in an impromptu video meeting with the CEO, the CFO, and the Senior Marketing Manager. turns out the CEO is taking this week off because his wife has covid, so they had tomorrow’s meeting today. including my wife, the VP of Education & Training.

she was like “he’s just joking!” and nudged me away, glaring at me with poison in her eyes. the first Sunday meeting they’ve had in about 6 years. great timing on my part.

they took it with humor, although. it’s I’ll legal here still, but nobody really cares. at least they didn’t see anything below my chest, or it could have gotten weird.

but i’m banned from the room whenever she’s doing anything work-related now, lol.

TL;DR: i offered my wife a crack pipe hit while she was in a video call for work, and now i’m *persona non grata* whenever she’s doing anything involving her job.