bro this motherfucking insect. i open my door and theres this cockroach ass looking 6 legged piece of shit literally on my doorstep, i spend the next 20 minutes trying to get the bastard away from my door without letting it inside and pretty much doing everything i can to get it as fucking far away as i can without splattering its guts all over the floor. i have to use this broom to generate wind and kick the fucking doormat towards it to get it to fuck off. motherfucker can JUMP dude. it like jumped over the flying doormat like a fucking olympic jumpropper. so i finally get it about like 5 meters away down the hall and it refuses to budge, ok thats good enough. a few minutes later i get groceries delivered, they’re dropped off at my door. i open my door as soon as the groceries are dropped off, and GUESS WHAT I SEE. I SHIT YOU NOT, THIS MOTHERFUCKER RUNNING FULL TILT TOWARDS MY FOOD. i fucking raged dude. i had to shoo away this fucker in between the grocery dropoffs so the grocery delivery driver wouldnt see me wage a dance of fury against this little shit