i understand that beating myself up isnt the way to get past this problem im facing, but nothing else ever made me realize my fuck ups, so ive come to a point where im forcing myself to look in a mirror and say
“you did that shit to yourself. no one did it to you.”

sometimes you have to critisize and shit on yourself (not literally) a little bit in order to take full acknowledgment of your flaws so you can fix them, not because youre being a self defeating twat.

theres a difference between fighting off the person you no longer want to be and just straight up crapping all over your existence .