I (14M) was home alone with my stepsister (15F), as our parents (40M) (39F) were going to the doctors to get a TV Remote out of my stepmom’s ass. Anyways, it was a hot summer day so my stepsis was wearing some cute booty shorts. I was playing hotline miami in the living room and I heard my stepsis yell “u/thatoneturkishdude, help, I’m stuck in the washing machine!”

I ran to the laundry room (nearly slipping on piss from our dog (2F)) and I saw her rear end in the machine. “Stepbro can you help me out” she said. I did what any self respecting citizen did, and I yanked her shorts down and busted the fattest nut I’ve ever nutted. She said “What the fuck?!” and I said “I thought you wanted me to-”

So then, she grabbed me and nearly strangled me, and I felt all the blood in my head. I threw her off and ran to the door, then my dad (40M) beat my ass with his electric guitar and kicked me out. My stepmom (39F) is threatening to call the cops. I’m currently staying in my Hotel room and thinking of going to Canada… Anyways, Am i the asshole?