TIFU by borrowing my wife’s laptop and finding her reddit account.

As the title suggests I borrowed my wife’s laptop for a presentation because it had a full size hdmi port and my chromebook does not, and lets face it the pink case brings out my eyes. I open it up and chrome is open on reddit with her signed in. I know IATA here but I was curious and honestly hoping to find some nudes that we could use later to try and spice things up(idiot).

A little backstory. I am an individual with serious mental health challenges and lately my depression has gotten the better of me and was sucking the life out of my wife. She has told me as much. I never thought I would be winning husband of the year awards but I genuinely love my wife and would do anything for her. I’m probably letting myself of too easy. Anyways in December my wife tells me that she can’t handle it anymore and I need to get my stuff together or we’re done. I have given every effort possible since then, multiple counselling sessions a week, changes in medicine, changes in careers and feel like I’ve made solid progress.

Back to my fuckup, I see her profile and notice the most recent post was really highly liked (3k+) and even given an award, Cool! Then I read it. I won’t go into specifics because some degenerate will track the post down but needless to say it paints me very negatively. She describes me with very harsh language and this was all brought on by a fight we had that I will admit was not my finest moment. I get upset after reading the first couple of lines and give up, close out of the browser and prepped for my presentation. Later that night my wife notices that I’m upset and asks me what is wrong. I try to avoid the confrontation because we had been doing so well but she persists and I brake down. I tell her that I saw her post and that I was sorry, I had no right to look at her account. I told her I wasn’t angry at her for making the post but it did really hurt and killed any self-confidence I had left. In a credit to our couples therapy we talked it out like adults and she even read me the post in full and said that was it. We make up and all is well not good but atleast ok.

As I’m laying in there in bed something is nagging at me. Something about the way she kept saying that was it made me feel like she was hiding something and lying to me. So I get up and go to the living room and Fuck up again by looking her post up and finding her account. I read for hours, she only had one other post about me but it was fairly generic deadbeat husbands asks me to make breakfast on my morning off(I’m working on not doing shit like that now sorry honey). Then I look at her comments. I get why she lied and said the one post was it, she was protecting my feelings. She hates me. She doesn’t think counselling will work. She’s just biding her time to kick me out. I am an awful human being with no redeeming qualities. She doesn’t enjoy our sex life and feels like it ranges from a forced chore to pathetic and boring.

I plan to talk to her about it. I know I am the asshole in this for reading her shit. This is the love of my life and mother of my children. I have destroyed everything good in my life. Its over. I have no chance to save it.

TLDR: Borrowed my wife’s laptop and found her reddit account. She hates me.