Every 60 seconds, a minute passes. Passes who? Huh? Why does a fundamental unit of time feel the need to go, “Ok, I’ve had enough of this, imma move now” and scoot over? I was a healthy young man until I thought about this. Now I don’t know what I am. Because, sure, let’s assume the minutes do pass every 60 seconds. So the minutes pass those seconds. Where do the seconds go? Do they just… sit there? And where are the firsts? The fourths? The three hundred and twenty-sevenths? Are they just floating in the void? Are they giving Caillou cancer? I’m literally so confused. Who is time? Why is it here. Why are you gae? Why did time tell Jake Paul’s daddy to impregnate some poor woman and fucking javelin throw that spoiled-ass kid into Disney Channel? Questions, questions… and no answers?! I demand I speak to a manager. But… who manages time? Time management? I don’t have such a skill. If a person has the skill of time management, they can manage time. But, does that mean they’re the boss of time? Does time work a 9-5 job? I’m legit so confused right now. Does time have to be on time? If time is late to work, does it get fired? This shit is hella wack. Bruh wait, ok, so if a person with time management is the boss of time, he can rearrange time and shit. So i guess he can move the seconds and tell the minutes “ok go pass them?” But where did the hours go? Bruh. Hours go on and on and on… they turn into days? And days turn into weeks? Weeks turn into months, into years, into decades, into centuries, into millennia… Hol up, if time be shapeshiftin up in this bitch, why it be stuck in some wack-ass 9-5 job? It can literally take over the world, what it be doin just sittin around workin for some guy who knows how to do his homework on time. On time? Who is on time? Why does time allow people to be ON it? Hol up, is time being abused? Do I need to call the FBI, CIA, USDA, NASCAR, PETA up in this crib? Time, you a wack-ass bitch. Go die in a hole. I can’t deal with this bullshit. I’m literally so high on LSD right now I can’t even.