Hi, I’m using an anonymous account for obvious reasons. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 4 years now, and everything has been going great; we never fight, never get tired of each other, and we’re very close to each others’ families. In fact, despite the nature of this post, even the sex has been fantastic, if a little over-adventurous. Over the years we have flirted a little with a lot of generally kink-y stuff, as well as some subtle roleplaying. However, this roleplay element has gradually become a very significant part of our sexual relationship over the past 3 or so months: my boyfriend can no longer reach orgasm without it, and it has become increasingly dominated by a particular fantasy of his.

Without going into too much detail about the specificities of this fantasy, it involves me pretending to be the cruel and domineering captain of a small Irish fishing vessel, and him acting as a clusmy and incompetent (and I mean incompetent) deckhand who is reluctantly courted and subsequently sexually humiliated by his boss (me). I should also add that the whole encounter takes place at sea, in the fantasy.

Now, I’m sure many of you reading this are thinking, as I was, that this is an ultimately harmless fantasy, if not a little strange. This is true. I was initially happy to indulge him in this as the fantasy grew; I found it quite fun to put on the Irish accent, and teasing him for his exagerrated bumbling stupidity actually became kind of hot. Honestly, this wasn’t even the weirdest thing we had tried in bed.

Anyway, I am posting this because of a (fairly drunken) evening spent with his family at his home last night. I get on really well with his parents, who are lovely, and we often spend evenings with them in their living room watching TV and drinking Bailey’s. His parents are hippy types and have spent a lot of their lives travelling as well as dabbling in all different kinds of work, which became the topic of our conversation for a while last night. As this conversation went on it became apparent that one of the many jobs they had both worked on together was a fishing boat off the coast of Northern Ireland (his mum is Irish but has lost the accent), on which his mum was the captain (her uncle actually owned the boat), and his dad was a deckhand. Obviously, I was taken aback by this and tried to signal some kind of surprise and confusion to my boyfriend during this conversation, but he refused to meet my glances, and began to look extremely uncomfortable. The worst part, however, is that towards the end of this conversation, as she was getting increasingly drunk on Bailey’s, his mum said something like the following to me: “\[boyfriend’s name\] gets really embarrassed by this, but it was actually on that fishing boat that he was conceived”. My boyfriend seemed mortified that his mum had told me this, and, after turning bright red, excused himself to go to the bathroom. Afterwards the conversation changed and the night continued as normal, besides my boyfriend’s mood being entirely off, and even though we slept in his bed together last night I haven’t spoken with him about it yet; I honestly wouldn’t know how.

Basically, is this as weird as it seems to me? I know people have all kinds of kinks that they cannot help, and that we shouldn’t shame them for. But still, I can’t look past the family element of this, and I’m not sure how I’m ever going to be able to be intimate with him again?

TL;DR – It turns out my boyfriend’s kink involves us roleplaying the specific circumstances of his own conception, and I feel like this is going to ruin our sex life