>gf is prego
>
>we like to get kinky anyways
>
>one night things get particularly saucy
>
>i’m sticking my noodle in her when I notice weird fucking chunks coming out, so I turn on the lights
>
>wtf it’s red everywhere and she’s obviously not on her period
>
>i look up at her, she’s got a glassy, jarred look on her face and she’s not answering
>
>ohshitohshitohshitohshit
>
>i rush her into my car and speed all the way to the hospital
>
>she’s still bleeding everywhere
>
>by the time we get there, she’s not bleeding much anymore, but all the color has drained and she looks colorless and almost transparent
>
>oh shit, she looks like she’s in a vegetative state
>
>storm into to the emergency room, cary her to the nearest doctor and explain eveything
>
>he takes one look at ther and says
>
>”sir, i’m sorry, there’s nothing we can do”
>
>”WHY THE FUCK NOT???”
>
>”we don’t operate on empty jars of spaghetti sauce”