No bro, you are you just lonely. Media and anime is forcing you to feel sexual attraction for specific things so you can search for them and consume it more and more and more, so when it happens that you have a real relationship, you will still seek this traits and expect unmatchable thing like perfect body, cute personality, supporting behavior etc, in that way you will somehow don’t feel satisfied so you will still search for those traits in internet, and the necessity will be stronger, you will pay for things, you will subscribe to thing, and you will support a marketing of fast stuff, all of this will make it seem hard to obtain thing pointless and the depression will become stronger and more lonely, and the circle goes on and on.