How did I, a person who has listened to all 6 studio albums by Sacramento, California, band Death Grips, become outraged with Sweetgreen’s new salad bowls? Try as ‪I might, I cannot comprehend that someone who has heard Zach Hill bang the living shit out of a drum set during the 45 minute runtime of Death Grips’ 2012 album No Love Deep Web would be upset about a salad chain swapping out their bowls, yet here ‪I am.
‪I may have listened to “‪Birds” (featuring Robert Pattinson of Twilight fame on the guitar) at least 200 times, but that doesn’t change the fact that Sweetgreen’s new salad bowls fail to allow thorough, correct mixing of a simple Kale Caesar™ salad with medium dressing.
It absolutely blows my mind that ‪I thought Death Grips’ 2012 full-length, The Money Store, was a groundbreaking step in experimental music only a few years ago, but now I’m furiously typing out an article just to say that since Sweetgreen ‪introduced their “new and improved” hexagonal bowls ‪I haven’t had a proper salad.
Salad is not punk, and being mad at a salad chain is extremely not punk.
However, Death Grips’ sampling of Black Flag’s “Rise Above” on “Klink” (off their 2011 debut mixtape Exmilitary) is very punk.
The powers that be at Sweetgreen have decided that saving a bit of water is worth completely ruining their entire line of healthy, farm-to-table salad offerings and ‪I, quite frankly, am not a fan — unlike Death Grips’ 2015 double album The Powers That B (of which I am A Huge Fan).