Me and my boy did shrooms today and the weirdest thing happened. I was suddenly pregnant and my water broke, which was particularly odd because I’m a cis man. I rushed to the ER and when the doctors saw the baby’s foot moving in my stomach, they were fascinated and praised it as a “medical miracle.” When they did the ultrasound, they looked extremely concerned and the head physician said “this creature is not human, it must be removed immediately.”

They C-sectioned me and then pulled out and held up the most beautiful cat I’ve ever seen in my life. He was an adult cat fresh out the womb, not even a kitten. I immediately named him Pegasus. I’m laying here typing this in the birthing unit as we speak and a beautiful nurse is petting my precious boy. She said she’ll raise him with me and a pastor nearby married us now. My beautiful wife is sitting here breastfeeding our perfect boy as I stare at her sweet tits. I don’t know what I did to deserve such a blessing, this is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. My wife wants to try for another cat so that Pegasus won’t be lonely. I agree so hopefully she will knock me up.

To anyone out there reading this, God is good and miracles do exist! I just gave birth to a beautiful cat and married the hottest nurse ever.