We hardy Nords do in fact clean our asscracks. But in non-homo ways.

Step 1: Gather a male friend

Step 2: Moisten his member with liquid, ideally saliva. Spending 3 minutes moistening every nook and cranny of his cock with your tongue is the ideal way.

Step 3: Add a cleaning lubricant made of berries on the tip, apply using your hands to gently rub the tip for 40 seconds.

Step 4: Bend over on a table, horse post, or in a pillory for comfort. And allow you Nordic brother to vigorously pump back and forth within your rectum.

Step 5: Once he fills you up with his naturally minty bodily fluids, and the berry lube is sufficiently spread. Then he can pull out. But be sure to keep all of the fluid in by puckering your anus.

Step 6: To make the cleaning go faster, have your battle brother warnthen you with his body heat. To work you MUST spoon all night.