Murray: Ok Sherinika, we tested Devonterius to see if he is indeed the father of 1 year old Tyreek

*audience holds their breath. Studio goes silent. A fart can be heard*

M: Devonterius….

*crowds faces go blue. One man has a heart attack, his wife begins attempting mouth to mouth*

M: You are….

*the woman screams in anguish at the loss of her husband. Sirens can be heard. No one gives a shit. Another man passes out from holding his breath*

M: NOT the father

*crowd erupts. A woman rips off her blouse. A man streaks across the cameras. Devonterius punches Sherinika in the face. Murray cheers him on. The dead man wakes up screaming. Three men start ripping down the curtains. The camera men run up and shove their cameras in the faces of Tyreek. He starts crying.*

Sherinkia: how is this possible!?!?!

*Devonterius starts blowing Murray as a thank you. Murray returns the favor. A woman rips her hair out. Murray and Devonterius curb stomp Sherinika*

*Obama comes into the studio. He is Tyreeks Father. Devonterius is conflicted*

D: I voted for you!!!!
O: I dont give a fuck

*Obama bitch slaps Devonterius. He then shoots Murray. The crowd loses their shit. Theyre doing lines of coke off eachother. Shooting up in the corner. Biden starts sniffing a dead woman’s hair. Everyone throws their money at Obama*

Crowd: THE KING HAS RETURNED!!!!

*Obama dabs*