“Yoshi’s been avoiding the IRS for 19 years”

 That’s a load of shit.

Alright, for starters, Yoshi is from Dinosaur Land. Last I checked, this was not a U.S territory or State. the IRS has no jurisdiction.

 So who does? well, that’s the problem.

 See, the Mushroom Kingdom claims Dinosaur land as an extant territory, as per the Fungal Mesozoic Act of 1991. However, according to Mushroom Kingdom law, an extant territory is one where inhabitants do not hold citizenship towards the colonizing country. This means that by law, no Yoshi is a subject of the Mushroom Kingdom. And yet- despite this obvious law, they utilized Yoshi’s happy attitude and started to employ discriminatory taxes. First the non-fungal life form tax of 1992, then the shelled inhabitant tax laws of 1993, and finally the egg-laying amendments to the Tax Laws in late 1993. All of which, conveniently, did not apply to native Mushroom Kingdom species.

 meanwhile- in exchange for their taxes- they got nothing. Dinosaur land was literally taken over by Bowser, The Yoshi’s had eggs stolen by him, but the only act by anybody from the Mushroom Kingdom was initiated to rescue Princess Toadstool, who at the time had taken Yoshi’s house through her power of Royal Eminent Domain. The fact that in the process some of Yoshi’s friends were rescued were inconsequential- not the least reason that Yoshi’s were dominated and subjected to the treatment of a riding animal during the process, and considered expendable.

 It was the Leak of the Porcini Papers that really showed how corrupt everything was. They had undeniable evidence that Cremini Cromwell, Chancellor to the Mushroom Kingdom, was behind a conspiracy not only to overtax the Yoshi inhabitants of Dinosaur Land but to alter their food supply so that all their food contain spicy pepper. Yoshi’s not only hated spicy Pepper, but they take Physical damage from eating it, as shown in the made-for-TV documentary, “Yoshi’s Story”. The reason? Cremini Cromwell was a collaborator and was working with Bowser- he figured if Bowser could take over Dinosaur Land, then he would leave the Mushroom Kingdom alone. And since it was an extant territory it’s not really treason. He might have gotten away with it too had Princess Toadstool not happened to be vacationing on the Island- and Bowser couldn’t help himself.

 The fact of the matter is that of course, Yoshi didn’t pay taxes. He wasn’t supposed to be paying them the entire time. This whole story about Yoshi’s not paying taxes is just propaganda pushback from whitecap conservatives against the Liberal Chanterelle party’s rescinding the various discriminatory laws. It’s the same propaganda trying to discredit the Porcini Papers leak, and particularly to draw attention away from the fact that according to those papers it was clear that Cremini had been planning a “Night of Long Knives” type purge of Dinosaur Land of all Yoshi’s- a genocide. He was a Racist and now his Party is trying to do damage control. Well, nice try. But it’s not going to be that easy to hide the truth.

 If anything, the Mushroom Kingdom should be paying Yoshi’s Reparations for all the trouble they have been caused. But none of you Whitecaps can stop babbling about Yoshi’s taking your jobs to realize how much they have suffered. If you ask me, Cromwell outlawed capital punishment because he knew if he was caught he’d be decapitated for treason. Should have brought it back just for him.