So there I was, trying to be the supportive friend on my buddy’s Twitch stream. My Japanese friend was playing Resident Evil Village. To sum up, he was running away from Alcina Dimitrescu and her big mommy milkers. and in the heat of the moment, I thought I’d have to give him some encouragement.

So, I yelled “nigero”. Y’know, that classic Japanese phrase that means “Run away!”

Little did I know, the Twitch ban hammer of justice didn’t quite grasp the nuance of my linguistic support.

However, I had been banned in an instant. Before I could start fantasizing over Lady Dimitrescu’s bazingas. But the thing is that I decided to take my Twitch ban as a badge of honor, a rite of passage into the hall of fame of simps.

My apology email to Twitch was probably like a digital version of a Shakespearean tragedy mixed with some shitpost and “I need more boolets”.

I was all, “Dear Twitch overlords, I need more bullets ‘cuz I cum in peace, armed with cum guns and the solemn promise to never shout ‘nigero’ again without a proper linguistic disclaimer. I am well aware that I am a fucking simp, yes. But not a racist one. So this is the last time, you call me racist, you’ll suffer the wrath of the Bible AND my razor-blade masturbator. I’ll fucking unleash The Holy Cum Wars, resulting in your execution by excessive cum, all made up with an elegant ejaculation”